Last week, after eating dinner with three dear friends, I felt that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know the one... when you reach into your purse, feel around, dig a little, panic slighlty, shake your head, and realize you can't find your keys. I then proceeded to stick my head into my purse like an ostrich, burying his head in the sand.
After five minutes of plowing through the mess, I emerged with keys, covered in cracker crumbs. My friends got such a kick out of my messy purse that they wrote the following ode. I think they were making fun of my purse AND my blog, but this kind of masterpiece should be published.
10 Things Emily has in her Purse, Just in Case...
1. Polka Dot Headband - Just in case you need to take off your makeup while driving home from work so Clay will think you look tired and offer you some of his food from his hidden stash in the basement.
2. Bra Clip - Just in case you are a little red-neck strappy.
3. Desk Flip Calendar - Just in case you need to set up a desk and work for the day at Starbucks.
4. Crayola Blue Fine-Line Marker (stolen from the elementary art room) - just in case you need to create a one-of-a-kind Venn Diagram on the fly for a Toastmasters presentation that you are expecting to win first prize for.
5. IPhone - Just in case your Mother calls during dinner and you have to tell her that your friends are more important than the woman who gave birth to you.
6. Pens, Pens, and More Pens - Half of which don't work, but you may have to use them to create an emergency airway for a friend who choked on her Italian food while laughing at your messy purse.
7. Half-eated Ritz Cracker - Just in case you need a snack with extra lint for fiber during those irregular moments.
8. Silver Name Badge - Just in case you forgot that you are "blessed to be a blessing."
9. Gold Name Badge - Just in case you lose the magnetic strip on the silver name badge and so you won't clash on the days you wear your gold bling (or gold tooth).
10. Keys - Something you can't live without, something you need to find to get home to your adoring husband and dog, something you need to find in order to stop feeling guilty about blogging three months ago about your super-organized drawers while your purse was super-super messy, something you need to find so your friends will stop kidding you about all the junk in your purse.
Feel free to share what you have in your purse, just in case.
oh good grief! That is a lot of stuff. You are going to have back problems in a few years. Why 2 hair brushes? Better yet, why a pharmacy?
ReplyDeleteGirl, that's crazy! Well...I guess it's not that crazy. I always have snacks and half-eaten fruit bars in my purse. I am amazed at how much junk we carry around!
ReplyDelete