11 Ways to Escape the Pollen

I can’t do it. I just can’t stay inside when the weather is so gorgeous, but according to Atlanta Allergy, the pollen count was over 5,495 today (before the rain). Normal is 120, by the way. So, if you are looking for a way to have fun inside, try one of the following activities:

1. Watch the 8,000 policemen guard Tiger Woods at the Masters this weekend.
2. Listen to sports radio talking about Tiger.
3. Send e-mails to your friends about why Tiger will not win the Masters.
4. Plan a weekend with your friends to watch the Masters.
5. Complain about the media coverage of Tiger and Elin.
6. Send texts about obscure golfers to prove your expertise.
7. Stalk golf blogs and leave anonymous comments about Tiger.
8. Observe a moment of silence in front of your Masters flag that is hanging in the basement.
9. Remind your wife to wash and iron your Masters t-shirt.
10. Ignore your wife when she talks about anything other than the Masters.
11. Act shocked when you read your wife’s blog about your obsession with the Masters.

I’m not bitter, though.

Phrases You Hear at a Writers Conference

When I first became a teacher, I had to learn to speak education. Education is full of acronyms like SST, ESL, SACS, IEP, IDEA, and ILT (teachers, you know exactly what these mean).

Last week, at the Mount Hermon Writers Conference, I realized that writers have another language, too. Rather than acronyms, it's chalk full of phrases you hear only amonng writers. I have been home for a week now, and I miss the following phrases:

1. What are you writing?
Since this phrase is music to every writers' ears, it is the first thing we say to one another. Upon meeting an author here, the first question is not, "What do you do?" or "Where do you live?" It's "What are you writing?" The answer to this question could last one minute or twenty... or it could lead to question number two.


2. Why are you crying?
The Mount Hermon Website states that the purpose of the conference is to help writers in every phase of their career. The unwritten goal is to make all conferees doubt their ability, purpose, and overall decision to write. It is a requirement to have at least one emotional breakdown each conference. Check!

3. Felt Needs
Nonfiction books always address "felt needs," so editors want to know what need your book will address. My answer is, "It addresses my need to be published." No one seems to laugh at that.

4. Dabbling in
To answer question number one, writers might say, "I write narrative nonfiction, but I'm dabbling in Sci-Fi." This means that the writer has commitment issues. Like a man who is unwilling to define a girl as his "girlfriend," this person just dabbles because they are keeping their options open.

5. What genre are you?
Every author must be placed into a category. That way you know who to sit by. If you sit by a fiction author, you will be forced to use additional terms like "plot points," "character development," or "story lines." If find yourself rubbing elbows with a fantasy writer, you'll undoubtedly hear about fairies, gremlins, or magical powers. And if you are fortunate enough to sit by nonfiction writers, your life will likely be improved, uplifted, and encouraged.

6. Memwa (Correct pronunciation of memoir)
If you meet someone trying to sell their memoir, you will probably need phrase #2 soon.

7. Y.A.
To use this phrase in a sentence, editors say, "We are not looking for Y.A. right now." Y.A. stands for young adult books.

What Are You Looking forward to?

Last night, the sweet little man at Starbucks shared some disturbing news with me. Apparantly, Starbucks is discontinuing my favorite drink, the Espresso Truffle. It debuted November 4, 2009, and has been an important part of my life since that faithful day. And now, I must say goodbye... until Christmas. Around the holidays, Starbucks unveils rich drinks like the Peppermint Mocha and Egg Nog Latte, so hopefully they will bring back the Espresso Truffle for the holidays. So, last night, I started looking forward to the holidays, just so I could get an Espresso Truffle.

It reminded me of Clay, at the end of college football season. He starts counting the days until the NEXT FOOTBALL SEASON as soon as the national champion is announced (seriously).

We definitely look forward to different events.

Clay looks forward to...

- The Masters

- Clam Dip and Egg Nog at Christmas

- March Madness, especially when Kansas has a shot

- Sports Illustrated Magazine arrival (every Thursday)

- Sports Center at 11:00 AM, 6:00 PM, and 11:00 PM

- Shopping for hunting gear, although this has not proven to be money well spent

- Quiet time to read the fourteen books by his bed

I look forward to...

- Buying the newest tech gadget

- Sipping percolator punch and watching The Mentalist

- Spending $4.00 on Starbucks even though I have an espresso machine at home

- Time to putter around the house in my fuzzy pink slippers

- Saturday morning snuggle time

- Anytime I can go without makeup

- Purchasing new makeup (hmmm, weird)

The list could go on and on. What do you look forward to? What does your spouse look forward to?

50 Days as a 1950's Wife

I have an idea that has captured my imagination for the past week. Summer will be here before you know it, and we have already begun to make plans for home repairs, vacations, etc... But I have a more intriguing idea. What if I spent 50 days treating my husband (and our home) the way women did in the '50's?

"What do you mean?" One of my friends asked when I told her about this idea. I mean, what if I took care of Clay the way my grandmother took care of my grandfather? What if I treated my responsibility as a wife as my number one responsibility? What would that look like?

Here are 10 reasons why I am considering this:

1. The life of a wife has changed over the past 60 years, and in many ways, it has changed for the better. We experience equality at home, share the workload, and more. However, I believe that my grandmothers were true artists, expending their energy to make their home a beautiful haven. I wonder what that is like.

2. I'd like to learn how to do things women used to do (and some still do) such as make their own jam, pickle cucumbers, sew, and even play bridge.

3. I want to wear a cute little apron every day!

4. It might be fun to spoil Clay, to see what his life would be like with a woman who devotes her day to making his home a delightful place.

5. I'm fascinated with women who lived through this era. I'd love to meet with them and hear their thoughts about the changes they've seen over the past 60 years.

6. This experience would draw me closer to my parents and grandparents. That kind of time together would be priceless.

7. I wonder if I could do my vacuuming in heals and nylons, the way my Mima says she did.

8. My life verse is, "Whatever you do, do it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men." Colossians 3:23. I'd like to see what it's like to be a wife with ALL MY HEART, to really focus on this endeavor with all my attention, creativity, and drive.

9. As a teacher, I have the unique opportunity to try something for a summer. I will still be receiving a paycheck, but can pretend to be a stay-at-home wife.

10. Most importantly, I'd love to try something new! I have always been adament about the kind of wife I will be, and this would be a complete departure for me. It's an opportunity to grow, and experience something completely different from my everyday life.

What kind of differences do you think exist between today's wife and the wife of the '50's?

Be advised, I know that this era had plenty of problems... such as civil rights issues, rampant smoking, etc... I am not attempting to revive the entire era, rather to understand the dedication women had to taking care of their home and husbands.

What I Learned at the Prayer Shower

I'm not sure what to call it, but it was one of the most overwhelming and moving experiences of my life. Some dear friends, girls I would call my "Steel Magnolias", gathered last weekend for the purpose of praying for God's will for my family (or as Clay reminds me to say, "our family"). I would call this gathering a Prayer Shower because it had all the elements of a shower - food, friends, and family... but they showered me with encouragement and prayer instead of gifts.

This is what I learned...

1.The throne of God is peacefully powerful
Loulou set the tone for my heart by describing the power in God's throne. Ezekial 1:15 - 26 reminds us that God's throne is never empty. Even when He descends to rescue His people, His throne moves with Him, so we never pray to an empty throne. God is always there.


2. God's Word says a lot about having children
Psalm 113:9 reads, "He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother." Then, between Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, and Elizabeth, so many people in the Bible struggled with infertility. And yet, God used their story to bring glory to Himself.


3. Hearing my name in Psalm 139 is awesome
Knowing that God understands my thoughts, even when I don't always understand them, brings such enormous comfort. It makes me want to insert my name into other verses and feel the impact.


4. God's will is never what you expect
As the girls shared their stories of struggle and triumph, I was encouraged by the predictably unpredictable nature of God.


5. There's no better place on earth than the center of a prayer circle
I memorized Matthew 18:20 as a kid, but I never grasped it until Saturday. Truly, where two or three are gathered in Christ's name, He is there in our midst.


6. Prayer is a precious gift that I don't give enough
After feeling the impact of such loving, personalized prayers, I want to give others the same gift. I feel like my eyes are open now, searching for opportunities to pray for people around me.

To so many people who have prayed for Clay and me, I can never thank you enough. Your love encourages us more than you know.

Walking in Little Shoes

Last week, our school challenged twenty-one teachers to become "Students for the Day", and I participated in the experiment. I dressed like a student, and for an entire day, I was a fourth grader in Mrs. Cain's class. I completed assignments, played Homeworkopoly, and even climbed the monkeybars at recess.

To be honest, I was pretty nervous about being a kid again. I worried about looking stupid, feeling hungry, and even going to the bathroom. Although I've taught at Strong Rock for two and a half years, I'd never seen it from this perspective. At lunch, one of the kids said to me, "You should let us be teachers for a day!" We really should. If only they could see how tough it is to make learning fun, they might appreciate us a little more. Then another kids piped in, "We should be principal for a day." And I agreed. We could all learn from walking in someone else's shoes.

That night, when Clay got home from work, I tried to imagine what his day had been like. I thought about his crazy schedule, and what it must be like to have people waiting to meet with him all day. I actually WANTED to cook dinner for him because I took a few minutes to ask myself, "What would it be like to be him?"

Then yesterday, I saw an amazing video of a coach who asked the same question. I should warn you, though. Every person who has seen this video has cried their eyes out.

(If you cannot see the video below, click on this link to watch the clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNn7SXAyuhQ)

10 Things I have in my Purse, Just in Case

<---- Contents of my purse - Hard to believe, isn't it?

Last week, after eating dinner with three dear friends, I felt that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know the one... when you reach into your purse, feel around, dig a little, panic slighlty, shake your head, and realize you can't find your keys. I then proceeded to stick my head into my purse like an ostrich, burying his head in the sand.

After five minutes of plowing through the mess, I emerged with keys, covered in cracker crumbs. My friends got such a kick out of my messy purse that they wrote the following ode. I think they were making fun of my purse AND my blog, but this kind of masterpiece should be published.

10 Things Emily has in her Purse, Just in Case...

1. Polka Dot Headband - Just in case you need to take off your makeup while driving home from work so Clay will think you look tired and offer you some of his food from his hidden stash in the basement.

2. Bra Clip - Just in case you are a little red-neck strappy.

3. Desk Flip Calendar - Just in case you need to set up a desk and work for the day at Starbucks.

4. Crayola Blue Fine-Line Marker (stolen from the elementary art room) - just in case you need to create a one-of-a-kind Venn Diagram on the fly for a Toastmasters presentation that you are expecting to win first prize for.

5. IPhone - Just in case your Mother calls during dinner and you have to tell her that your friends are more important than the woman who gave birth to you.

6. Pens, Pens, and More Pens - Half of which don't work, but you may have to use them to create an emergency airway for a friend who choked on her Italian food while laughing at your messy purse.

7. Half-eated Ritz Cracker - Just in case you need a snack with extra lint for fiber during those irregular moments.

8. Silver Name Badge - Just in case you forgot that you are "blessed to be a blessing."

9. Gold Name Badge - Just in case you lose the magnetic strip on the silver name badge and so you won't clash on the days you wear your gold bling (or gold tooth).

10. Keys - Something you can't live without, something you need to find to get home to your adoring husband and dog, something you need to find in order to stop feeling guilty about blogging three months ago about your super-organized drawers while your purse was super-super messy, something you need to find so your friends will stop kidding you about all the junk in your purse.

Feel free to share what you have in your purse, just in case.