10 Lessons in 10 Years

Last night, Clay and I broke tradition. We always wait until after Thanksgiving to assemble the tree and drink egg not, but we couldn't wait. We drug the tree up from the basement and made percolator punch (my new favorite holiday drink). And in lieu of It's a Wonderful Life, we watched... drumroll please... our wedding video.

Since this weekend marks ten years since he proposed, Clay surprised me by hooking up the old VCR (can't believe it actually works) and digging through old tapes like Grease, The Sound of Music, and Eight Seconds to find the wedding videos.

We couldn't help but laugh at how young and innocent we looked back then. What were we thinking to get married at ages 21 and 23? We had no idea what we were doing. Maybe that's the best that way. So, in honor of the ten year anniversary of our engagement, I have listed 10 things I've learned about marriage since that day:

1. Guys don't like it when you use their razor.

2. Fighting is not the worst thing for a marriage. The quiet, cold, bitter silence is much worse.

3. Reading the same book draws us together in a profound way.

4. Submission is a beautiful word, not an ugly one.

5. Rocking chairs on the porch are a worthwhile investment.

6. TIVO or DVR can prevent hundreds of arguments.

7. It's good to dress your man. Although they pretend to be annoyed by it, they really love it.

8. God uses marriage to shape our character.

9. Marriage can never be reduced to a list of do's and don't's. It is one of the most intriguing mysteries of the universe.

10. A breakfast of waffles and bacon goes a long way.

11 Cures for Fan Depression

It's official. Auburn stinks this year. Clay's nonstop pouting is a sure sign that all hope is lost. If your husband is a true fan of any sports team, you know what it's like to fall victim to a bad season.

When the rankings come out at the beginning of the year, do you anxiously check to see what kind of man you will be living with for the following months? When commentators predict wins and losses, does that translates to happiness or sadness in the home? If yes, I feel your pain, sister.

I ate three bowls of ice cream when Alabama hired Nick Saban. I knew it meant Auburn would lose recruits, lose status, and ulitmately lose games. When Gene Chizik was named as the Tigers' new coach, I drowned my sorrows in Mayfield Moose Tracks.

After five pounds on the hips, I have decided to take action. There is no reason why I should have to surrender this lovely Fall season to self pity as we Auburn loses the majority of their remaining games.

I have a plan.

I have created a fail-proof scheme to protect our home from FAN DEPRESSION.

1. Distraction - Although it only lasts a few minutes and must be used sparingly, distraction with food and beverage works in the short-term. Keep his favorite snacks hidden so that after a loss, you are armed with a surprise. Lure him away from the television with the promise of homemade cookies, and you might have a chance at a decent evening. Be careful though. If you use this too often, it can backfire. Think: Pavlov's dogs. His whining cannot be reinforced with tasty treats.

2. Cliches - Cliches become cliche for a reason. They work. Memorize the following lines:
"It's a rebuilding year."

"Ya can't win 'em all."

"Win some, lose some."

"At least we have our health."

3. Hope - Depressed fans are likely to hold onto any glimmer of hope. A ridiculous statement like, "With the right recruits, Auburn could win the national championship in three years,"might do the trick.

4. Expert Testimony - Scan blogs and local newspapers for someone who predicts your husband's team will upset a big rival. "Kirk Herbstreet said Auburn is the one team that could take down Alabama." Make sure it's a game at the end of the year so he can cling to this expert testimony throughout the entire season. And don't make it up. He will find out.

5. Miserable Company - Misery loves company, so find a team that is doing as bad or worse than your husband's. Point out their losses, especially when it makes your team look better.

Example: "Can you believe Georgia lost to Tennessee? I feel sorry for the Dawgs fans this year."

6. New Team - Deep down, your man wants to be a fan. Something is missing in his life when he can't cheer for someone wholeheartedly. Divert his passion to another team that actually has a chance. Even though this team can never truly take the place of his beloved squad, it helps.

Say, "If Auburn can't win, I am going to pull for Florida. Tim Tebow is a stand up guy. Have you seen the article about his mission trips in Sports Illustrated?"

7. One Player - It's likely that at least ONE PLAYER on your husband's sorry team shows promise. Focus on that player. Take note if he makes a great play or improves from week to week. This can be a focal point during the blow-outs.

8. Scapegoat - Milli Vanilli was right. You can blame it on the rain... Cause the rain don't mind. In fact, any weather change can serve as a scapegoat for a loss - snow, heat, wind, even astroturf.

9. Bet - By playing the devil's advocate, your sweetie can feel like he has actually won, even when his team loses. Make a ridiculous bet and make sure he wins. For example, "I bet Kentucky will beat Auburn by 30 points." When he takes the bet and wins a massage, he will not feel like such a loser when Auburn only loses by 7 points.

10. Postive Reinforcement - Anytime your spouse talks about something other than his losing team, feed him.

11. Dancing with the Stars - When all else fails, flip the channel to Dancing with the Stars and forget about football.

Baby in Six Months

The one in the middle is not pregnant :(

After more than four years of trying to have a baby, Clay and I are more hopeful than ever. We are praying to be pregnant within the next six months. So, today is September 28, 2009... that means we are praying for a baby in my belly by March 28, 2010.

We are still in the process of adopting from China, but right now, it will be at least 36 months before he or she arrives in our home. So, this seems like a great time to get pregnant!

Of course God's timing is always perfect, and we know that He may deny our request, but for the next six months, we are going to do everything within our power to make a baby (Feel free to insert your own joke here).

I love this quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, which reminds me of the importance of complete commitment:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.

So, we have begun a period of complete committment. That inlcudes daily prayer and inviting our friends to pray with us! We would be honored by any of your prayers. Below are some specific requests:

1. That we would fall more in love with God and each other through this process.

2. For God to bless us with a pregnancy witin six months

3. Pray for God to lead us to the right doctors, medicine, herbs, food, and information.

4. For God to be glorified through our story, no matter what.

A Different Dream

“But our God turned the curse into a blessing.” Nehemiah 8:10

Who would have thought a book about chronically ill children would minister to me during this period of my life? I met the author, Jolene Philo, at a writer’s conference and was immediately attracted to her enthusiasm for life.

I was surprised to learn that she was writing a book about dealing with her son’s life-threatening birth defect. Her joy was birthed through difficulty.

Before leaving Colorado, I told her that I wanted to read her book. So, last week I had the privilege of reading A Different Dream for My Child, published by Discovery House. Honestly, I was checking it out because a dear friend has just found out that her baby has Downs Syndrome. I wanted to give my friend a copy of Jolene's book.

But I think God wanted me to read this book. For four years, Clay and I have been searching for God’s will for our family. We are in the process of adopting a little girl from China, but that will probably take three more years. So, what should we do while we wait? If I've heard one story about someone getting pregnant while they wait for an adopted child, I've heard a million of them. And deep down, I have found most of my comfort from the idea that this will certainly happen to me.

But truthfully, there is no verse in the Bible that promises me a baby.

Jolene came to the same realization about a healthy baby. In the first paragraph of her book, she recounts a typical conversation she had when she was pregnant:

“Do you want a girl or a boy?”

“I don’t care so long as the baby is healthy.”

Jolene writes, “I was convinced God would honor my selfless desire since my husband, Hiram, and I were model parents-to-be.”

Jolene and I had the same misconception and we have been learning the same principles, but through different avenues. Below are eight things God can teach us when we are given the opportunity to dream a different dream:

1. God’s grace really is sufficient.
2. The Holy Spirit prays for us when we don’t even know what to ask God.
3. Waiting for God’s will is an important part of our spiritual growth.
4. The Lord draws near to the brokenhearted.
5. God is more interested in turning me to Him than granting me the American dream.
6. Pain is a beautiful part of life.
7. Every good and perfect blessing is from the Lord.
8. I am thankful that my life is not in my control.

Favorite Kiddie Sayings

Since I started teaching younger students, Clay and I have developed a new pasttime. It's called, "Tell me what the kids said today." I hear something fall-down funny every single day and below are a few of our favorites:

Pre-K: "I wiggled the mouse, but my computer won't wake up. Should I yell at it?"

Kindergarten: (Whispering) "Mrs. Osburne, someone stole a key off this thing. There is no 'U'. I've looked everywhere."

First Grade: After they saw a picture of the Mona Lisa, one student asked, "Mrs. Osburne, did you make that in Paint?"

Second Grade: "I wish I had an Undo button for a lotta things."

Third Grade: "My Mom got a new Blackberry and she doesn't even know how to use. So, I have to show her."

Fourth Grade: "Can we play Power Point?"

Tech Gadgets Are Hotter than Purses

I have camera envy. Clay and I spent the weekend at a beautiful house in Harbor Island, South Carolina, and my camera could never capture it. I wanted to remember the beach, boats, and bike riding, but not as a fuzzy mess.

It was useless for me to point and click my little handheld toward the kids because by the time my flash woke up from his nap, the kids had turned away. Two seconds is an eternity for a one-year old.

So, Lou Lou told me exactly what camera to buy. I made a list of the accessories that will make my life complete, and now it's time to save... and convince Clay to join the effort.

A few years ago, I passed a billboard in Atlanta that read, "You look hot in that phone." It was an advertisement for the Razor, the top-selling phone at that time. Motorola struck a cord with buyers beacuse they realize that technology is not what it used to be: geeky. Technology today allows us to connect, express, and experience the world around us.

Does that sound like a good argument? Hopefully Clay will go for it. Here are a few other techno needs on my list:

1. 15" MacBook Pro - 250 GB Hard Drive, 4 GB RAM, all the Apple Programs

2. Apple Final Cut Studio - Moviemaker and Pinnacle are not cutting it anymore.

3. Nikon D90 - Any Nikon D-Series Camera

4. Ipod Voice Recorder - To record my singing in the car

5. Kindle Subscriptions - Love my Kindle. I subscribe to the USA Today and New Yorker, but would love to have the AJC and Wall Street Journal come straight to it too.

My total is up to $4,500, so I'd better stop. If anyone has ideas about where to find good deals on these gadgets, I am open to anything. If you would like to offer me a part-time job to fund my technology addiction, I'm open to that, too!

6 Questions for Couch Time

Last night, by the time I finally saw my husband, it was 9:30 PM. We try to spend 15 minutes every night talking and really listening, but we were both exhausted. I forced him to answer three questions and ask me three questions, and we were laughing within minutes. One couple we interviewed told us to have uninterrupted Couch Time every single night, to stay connected even through the busy days.

Here are six questions to choose from if you only have a few minutes to spend with your spouse. Skip the typical, "How was your day?" Most people have an automatic response to that one. It's like when you go shopping and the clerk asks, "May I help you?" We almost always respond, "No, I'm just looking." Even if we actually need help, we don't ask because we are so conditioned to say we are just looking.

1. MAD, SAD, GLAD - What made you mad today? What made you sad? What made you glad?

2. BORING - What was the most boring part of your day?

3. GROUNDHOG DAY - If you had to repeat this day, what would you do differently?

4. LEARNING - What do you think God is trying to teach you lately?

5. RATING - Rate your day from 1 to 10. Explain.

6. PRAYER - How can I pray for you tomorrow?